Ashes to ashes

Innkeepers - Shitsticks and Goblin Burritos

aka The Day The Barbarian Missed EVERYTHING

After enjoying a mead-feast in their honor, the party went to bed. After being rudely awoken by Elder Martin, who insisted that the party should hurry up and go adventuring, they feasted on some mead-cakes with mead and mead-jam. They also decided that it was time to fetch the enchanted water that they had been tasked to do. After questioning Elder Martin about where the water is, he told them that Alenn knew, and that he could show them.

The party found Alenn, who fetched himself a book and a few sandwiches before departure. They then decided to make a detour and fix the goblin problem – probably by slaying them all. Alenn showed the way to the goblin den and decided to read his novel while waiting. 

The party entered the den, and was immediately  set upon by goblins and bugbears. To sum up the fight:
Dale casts spells! No Wild Magic since no fun allowed, apparently.
Tesla tells everyone that they're doing an a-ok job!
Balsa gently asks every enemy to reform to Bahamut while slaughtering them in the name of Bahamut.
Drusilla critfails, critfails, critfails. 

They managed to knock out a goblin, and then persuade him to tell them the whereabouts of the other goblins, and so he did. They then left him tied up, like a goblin burrito. A single tear was shed.

After making their way towards the kitchen, the party found themselves set upon once again by these foul beasts. Sum up:
Dale uses bonfire! It's somewhat effective!
Tesla builts a burning shitstick, made from miscellanious things from the goblin lavatory, and lugs it at a goblin, splashing shit and some fire on him.
Balsa does what Balsa does best.
Drusilla is the queen of misses and critfails. 

Afterwards, the party finds a pouch of kanis (iceinnamon) and a shitfilled bag of holding in the goblin lavatory. They also manage to knock out the shitstained goblin and Drusilla contemplates making him her slave.



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